“Guys are simple… women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically.”
Dave Barry
I loved this quote. Those of us who are romance writers are always faced with the question why does he love her? There has to be a reason for the hero to fall in love with the heroine. So we make up reasons. She’s beautiful, intelligent, kind, funny, anything to justify the attraction. But the plain fact of the matter is that’s X chromosome thinking. Most men can’t tell you why they fell in love. I asked my husband of twenty-nine (thirty-two together) years why he loved me and got a deer in the headlights look. So then I gave him prompts and he agreed with all of them. Fortunately, I didn’t say anything bad about myself.
So I challenge you. Ask your significant other, it has to be a guy for this experiment, why he loves you. What is the very first expression on his face, before he has time to think? If he says, because I like your buttocks, I want to know that as well. Are other Alpha males like my husband or is he just strange?
Here is an excerpt from The Temptation of Lady Serena, which will be released by Kensington next January.
When the butler announced Robert, he stepped into the room and languidly surveyed the company. He smiled at the Rutherfords, but his attention was arrested by the lady he’d seen walking and on horseback. He had trouble catching his breath and even greater difficulty maintaining his countenance. He cast an experienced eye over her.
The lady wasn’t a young miss. Perhaps she was a widow. She was far lovelier than he’d thought she’d be. Her hair was dressed high, curls dropped and bounced around her shoulders from the loose top knot. One curl caressed her breast. He itched to twist that curl around his finger. Her rosy lips tilted up at the corners. What would it be like to kiss those lips? He intended to find out.
ellaquinnauthor
LOL…I’ve played this game before Ella and I got the deer in the headlights too. Men are funny…you just gotta love ‘em!
You have played before, Christine. It’s a fun game. Thanks for stopping by.
I don’t have a current SO so I called up my former SO who remains my friend and asked him
Why did you fall in love with me?
His first response was: Who is this? (His voice was groggy, I think I woke him)
His second response was: Have you been drinking?
3rd: Can we discuss this later?
Just like a lawyer, only asks questions, never answers them.
Liza, that is so typical. When I first posted this a year ago, most of the responses were like yours.
Liza..What do you mean by that? (!)
My husband is a talker. He can talk your ear off. When I asked him his repsonse was:, because you were nice and were pretty and you were a great cook.
Now why are all those things in the past tense….hmm
LOL, Nancy. At least he had an immediate response.
Asked the hubby of nearly 30 years. “Because you’re a good person?” He posed it like a question. Geez.
Hahaha, Collette. He’s just trying to make sure he passed the test.
I asked my alpha male husband why he married me and quick as a jackrabbit, he had his answer: “Because I love you.” And then he hesitates, scowls and growls,”Is there ANY other reason why I’d marry you?” Yep, he’s an alpha male, but he’s got a brain on his shoulders, not just between his legs. A rarity in the world, I’m sure, but that’s why I married him
.
Lindsay, you were too easy on him. The question was why does he love you.
Ella, fair enough. I walk back out and ask him, “WHY do you love me?” He give me this look and then rattles off, “Because you are intelligent, beautiful and compassionate. You love animals. You’re sexy. I like to walk behind you just to see the way you walk. And you make me laugh. Is that enough or do you want more?”
Spoken like a typically blunt speaking Alpha male. 
What a great response!! I like the look.
My partner was drawn to me because, he said at the time, I had a certain sparky joie d’vive. I seemed very alive inside. Good enough, I say.
I agree, Madeline.
True, guys are simple and our challenge as women writer is to describe our guys with enough layers to make them shine.
My husband tells me I’m smart, caring, beautiful and that I’m his rock.
Carole, how wonderful of him.
My hubs is working in the next state, and I if I called him to ask this, he would probably hang up on me…but he must love me for someting…we’ve been together over 32 years.
LOL, D’Ann. Thanks for coming by.
Deer in headlights all the way. I think your hubby and mine came from a similar mold. I did get a kiss out of it. Grin.
Funny, Sandy. I’m glad you got kissed.
Tempting excerpt!
Thank you, Angelyn.
Oh, I know what kind of response I’d get…because I’d asked this once–and I told him he couldn’t say my looks. It was pretty much what you got, Ella. A deer in the headlights look… Then he said it was my personality… Which ironically is what we butt heads over most. I’m more outgoing than he is….LOL
I love the first response. How funny. Thanks for commenting, Sara.
What a great blog! Well, I’m one of the lucky ones… My hubby told me a long time ago why he feel in love with me. I was dating his best friend, and soon-to-be hubby was dating my best friend. He told me that he liked the way I treated his friend and the way I treated his daughter (hubby had been married before and had a 3 yr old daughter). Hubby thought I was cute (don’t know where he saw that…) and he liked my butt (yeah, simple guy, alright!!), but it came down to the way I treated his friend who I’d been dating, and his daughter. That’s why he fell in love with me.
Now, why did I fall in love with him…that’s a WHOLE different story! ROFL!
Thanks for sharing, Marie. That’s two now that like bottoms.
The answer was and is always the same from my DH. “You were so hot. It was love at first sight.”
I don’t believe in love at first sight. I believe in LUST at first sight. LOL! Anyway, that man pined for me for a very long time before I caved. Ha! Been married almost 17 years, now.
Great excerpt, Ella!
Thank you, Jenn. At least he knew what he wanted.
Love that quote! Awesome excerpt, Ella!! Thanks for sharing.
Thanks, Karen. I really appreciate it.
LOL! Great post! I’ve done this to my hubby before and he’s on to me now, lol. It’s my booty
(even after 20 years of marriage!)
Haha, I remember last year, Jennifer. That’s three now.
Oh I wish I could ask my husband this question. But Keri Arthur who writes paranormal has somethings about men on her website. And men don’t think about things like we do. Great post. I hope it’s okay I’m reblogging.
Hi C.K. Thanks so much for re-blogging.
My local chapter had a “Man Panel” last September and one of the first things the men said was “We’re a lot more simple that you seem to think.” I asked my hubby this last time you posted this and he wanted to analyze the question! “What do you mean, ‘Why do i love you?’ Why are you asking me this?” i think he thought I had an ulterior motive. LOL But I got no coherent answer.
I still think it’s funny. Thanks for commenting, Jenna.
Hey Ella, love the quote and women wanting men to be so much more than they seem. I once flew from London to Arizona to see this guy I was pretty crazy about (we were young) and I was dreaming of his long, sultry, sensuous looks where his gaze would just pull me in. There is so much more to this boy than meets the eye, thinks I. Then I discovered he was short sighted. So much for that. I did have a fantastic time though and only went home two months later — but that’s a different story.
Thanks, Cait. LOL, he had to have something if you stayed for two months.
My husband falls in the catagory of the deer in the headlights. lol
He would analyse the question…or my mood…to figure out the best answer. We’ve been together for over 20 years, so we must be doing something right.
Hi Stacy, thanks for coming by. I would have loved to hear his answer.
Great excerpt, Ella! And I love these responses. Too funny! Who knew there were so many “butt” guys??
I asked my “significant other” the question. He curled his lip. Then he growled at me. I think I woke him up. He doesn’t have much of a voice, but I think he said : “You work all day and let me laze around in bed. You bring home food. You serve the food. You let me have the best pillow, most of the covers and almost all of the bed. Your Mom loves me and feeds me Cheetos when we visit her. You make me wear a sweater when it is cold and you do all the driving. Oh! And you let me bite your brothers when they come over to visit.”
Did I mention my significant other is a twelve pound chihuahua named Frodo who has been banned from five veterinary clinics in the area?
And I completely agree. Men are so much simpler than women which is why they drive us NUTS!
Thank you, Louisa. So funny. I agree with you.
Loved this blog. I’m so going to try this and am pretty sure I’ll find a similar reaction to what you got. Thing is, I admittedly get jealous of the simplicity with men. Sometimes my mind can be so complicated in it’s reactions and desires that it gives me a headache!
Hi Toni. Thanks so much. Let me know what happens.
My husband is in court today so I can’t ask, but I imagine I would get the deer in headlights response. It was fun to read all the other responses!
Thanks for stopping by, Ally.
Ok, asked the mister last night about this and he sorta smiled and thought about it for a second then said because I’m smart, beautiful, you know, the standard specs. But his expression before he answered was what really made an impression. He seemed amused at my asking, like he thought it was sweet.
Very cute, Tanya. At least you didn’t get the deer in the headlights look.
Yea, that was a lucky break. =)
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