Guys Are Simple

February 9, 2012 by ellaquinnauthor

Guys are simple… women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically.

Dave Barry

I loved this so much, I tweeted it. Lately, in both my MSs and those of other writers, we have critique partners asking, buy why does he love her? There has to be a reason for the hero to fall in love with the heroine. So we make up reasons. She’s beautiful, intelligent, kind, funny, anything to justify the attraction. But the plain fact of the matter is that’s X chromosome thinking. Most men can’t tell you why they fell in love. I asked my husband of twenty-eight years why he loved me and got a deer in the headlights look. So then I gave him prompts and he agreed with all of them. Fortunately, I didn’t say anything bad about myself.

So I challenge you. Ask your significant other, it has to be a guy for this experiment, why he loves you. What is the very first expression on his face, before he has time to think? If he says, because I like your buttocks, I want to know that as well. Are other Alpha males like my husband or is he just strange.

Posted in Uncategorized | 40 Comments

40 Responses

on February 9, 2012 at 15:53 | Reply Lauren Smith

Hhahaha Great post. Too bad I don’t have a significant other to ask. Must not be much loving me going on lol. But it is true, they don’t do much extraneous thinking, poor guys.
on February 9, 2012 at 16:02 | Reply ellaquinnauthor

I’m not worried about you. When you’re ready to be driven crazy, you’ll get one.
on February 9, 2012 at 16:14 | Reply Denise Pattison

I have asked my husband that question and have gotten “that look.” LOL He’s so clueless. The fact is, I asked him out. He was a bit shy and was hooked on a girl he’d known since 2nd grade. She was hooked on his best friend. So, I went after him, he never knew what hit him. He was completely stunned that I asked him out. Even more stunned that I wanted to date him. He has always said that I was too smart for him, too good looking, too verbal (okay, he says mouthy) but still, he said he never thought someone like me would be interested in someone like him. Like I said, clueless.
- on February 9, 2012 at 16:19 | Reply ellaquinnauthor
  
  So funny. My husband had a date with another woman the night I met him. She left.
on February 9, 2012 at 16:21 | Reply Jennifer Lowery~Author

Great post! My hubby always tells me what he loves about me, I’m very lucky 🙂
on February 9, 2012 at 16:23 | Reply ellaquinnauthor

Ahh, Jennifer. How sweet.
on February 9, 2012 at 17:47 | Reply jennajaxon

I asked mine just now over the phone (won’t see him until late tonight). His first words were, “Oh, God. I should have left 10 minutes ago.” LOL I actually think he’d have said something about physical attributes, but he was at work. Great post, BTW. 🙂
- on February 9, 2012 at 18:04 | Reply ellaquinnauthor
  
  LOL
on February 9, 2012 at 18:32 | Reply Lisa Kumar

Great post! I don’t think most men are deep thinkers when it comes to emotions. Emotions are simply there or not for them. I know I’ve asked my husband, but I can’t remember what he said. I think he rattled off a list of stuff he made up!
- on February 9, 2012 at 18:42 | Reply ellaquinnauthor
  
  Lisa,
  
  I agree.
on February 9, 2012 at 18:49 | Reply Gerri Bowen

Will you share your responses, Ella? I can’t wait to read what those guts come up with.
- on February 9, 2012 at 19:19 | Reply ellaquinnauthor
  
  I think everyone will post their own.
on February 9, 2012 at 19:14 | Reply Paisley Kirkpatrick

I decided I wanted my husband the moment I laid eyes on him. His first reply would be my over-sized mammary glands I am sure. 😉 We’ve been married 43 years so I know there is a lot there for us to have gone through the good and the sorrowful times and still come out laughing together. I agree – they, for the most part, are easy to manage if you know the right buttons to push.
- on February 9, 2012 at 22:10 | Reply Denise Pattison
  
  I have those over-sized mammary glands now but I didn’t back then. I was just a tiny chested beanpole, the mammary glands exploded when I got pregnant, then I couldn’t get rid of the suckers.
  
  Like you, though, I decided I wanted him the minute I saw him and I went after him. We’ve been married for 33 years so we’re doing something right.
  - on February 9, 2012 at 22:20 ellaquinnauthor
    
    I know exactly what you mean. It was my menopause gift.
on February 9, 2012 at 19:32 | Reply Ally Broadfield

LOL. I do love Dave Barry. The only emotion my husband ever shows is anger, and we can minimize that by keeping him in a carefully controlled environment. I also have two sons, one teenager and one a year away. My daughter and I just shake our heads at them. They’re clueless. Apparently men never outgrow that.
- on February 9, 2012 at 19:58 | Reply ellaquinnauthor
  
  No, they don’t. As I type this, the female Great Dane just broke up a male cat fight.
on February 9, 2012 at 19:48 | Reply Martha Ramirez

What an awesome post! Can’t wait to see what Hubby says LOL!
- on February 9, 2012 at 19:59 | Reply ellaquinnauthor
  
  Mart, You have to post it.
on February 9, 2012 at 19:58 | Reply Stacey Brutger

Ha! I love that quote. I read it yesterday and loved it. When I read it now, it still makes me laught!! My husband would agree with him whole-heartedly.
on February 9, 2012 at 20:03 | Reply Carrie Ann Ryan

Just asked the Hubby. He looked like this. “Is this a test. I’m confused. It’s hard to put into words…Um…because the way you treat me.”

Awww… he’s so cute when he’s confused. I love him.
- on February 9, 2012 at 20:05 | Reply ellaquinnauthor
  
  Sooo funny. Love the deer in the headlights look.
  - on February 9, 2012 at 22:22 Carrie Ryan
    
    Our third anniversary is in July so we’ll see what he says then LOL. Just wait until we get pregnant (hopefully in the next year) that deer in headlights looks won’t go away!
  - on February 9, 2012 at 22:24 ellaquinnauthor
    
    My husband almost always buys me very romantic cards.
on February 9, 2012 at 20:16 | Reply Lia Davis

I don’t have to ask. I know I’ll a crazy look. It won’t be deer in headlights either. It’ll be “are you serious?” lol Then he say everything about me. After twelve years he still goes out of his way to show me. Great post!
on February 9, 2012 at 20:26 | Reply Brenda

I love this post.
You know, I really envy guys and their simplicity. I wish I could go through life not sweating things, but women really are hardwired differently. One of the reasons I love men is because they don’t think like women do. Could you imagine if your husband thought like you do? Yikes, that is kinda scary.
on February 9, 2012 at 20:53 | Reply Callie Hutton

So I asked dh when he came home ‘why do you love me?’ His initial reaction: he burst out laughing, and wanted to know if it was a trick question. Then he said there were too many reasons. And then he began babbling something about a beginning love, and and a middle love, and a now love (which he said would end soon if I keep asking these questions). We were both laughing pretty hard at this point. Finally, he said ‘that’s why they have poets,’ and left the room. Very funny this hubby of 35 years.
on February 9, 2012 at 21:09 | Reply ellaquinnauthor

Oh Callie, that’s funny. I love how many of them thought that.
on February 9, 2012 at 21:52 | Reply Casea Major

Yes – it’s true. Sometimes to the benefit and sometimes to the detriment of us gals. But sooo true. Great post, Ella.
on February 9, 2012 at 22:17 | Reply Marika Weber

Great post and its right on the money. My hubs tells me loves me because I love him. I get the normal crapola but he’s truest remark is because I, Marika, love him. He actually said it first when we were dating.

Marika
- on February 9, 2012 at 22:19 | Reply ellaquinnauthor
  
  You have to love them. Mine once said, it was because I didn’t leave him.
on February 10, 2012 at 19:09 | Reply Suzi Love

Love this! Guys really are simple thinkers so why do we, as authors, try to give them all these excess emotions and deep feelings??
I’ve often stood with a group of men -DH, 2 sons, 3 brothers – and a gorgeous woman walks by – collective head nods and grunts!
Simple and straight forward!

Suzi…who is rushing off to change my hero’s deep thinking motives for wanting the heroine into something much simpler. Grin!
- on February 11, 2012 at 10:59 | Reply ellaquinnauthor
  
  Because we women desperately want them to have a reason. LOL. I had a guy stop by to read the post and he said he knew how the deer felt.
  - on February 11, 2012 at 15:08 ellaquinnauthor
    
    I was going to add that to the post and then deleted it. Yes, they really can have nothing in their heads at any given time. Amazing.
  - on February 11, 2012 at 22:43 Suzi Love
    
    Loving all the comments here.
    From now on, I’ll treat my hero as a simple creature and stop trying to give him so many deep thinking motives – Grin!
    Suzi
  - on February 11, 2012 at 22:49 ellaquinnauthor
    
    You and Miranda. I just wrote a long paragraph where my heroine over analyses why my hero’s hand is on her but.
on February 11, 2012 at 14:05 | Reply Elaine Golden

Fun post!

I don’t have to ask the DH about this one, because he is very demonstrative (I wouldn’t classify him an alpha, though –he’s pure beta male)

We did once have a conversation about what guys think. I’d asked him (probably once too many times) what he was thinking. And he’d said ‘nothing’ again. I pressed him because he looked all contemplative, and he explained it to me. “Really. I was thinking about nothing. Guys are truly that simple. We don’t rattle thoughts around like women do. So next time when I tell you I’m not thinking about anything, you should believe me.”

And so I do. Once we really ‘get it’ about guys –that they really are simplistic creatures –they are so much more fun!
on February 13, 2012 at 22:21 | Reply derekd

Oh my! I’m a card carrying Alpha, but i used to be a therapist, so I know the language of feelings. I can easily express why I love someone. However, after reading all these posts (hehe), I guess I would say guys typically aren’t taught the language of feelings. Except maybe anger.

We are taught to depend on logic and ignore, for the most part, emotion at a pretty early age. Maybe social conditioning plus the genetic thing explains part of it.
on February 13, 2012 at 22:27 | Reply ellaquinnauthor

Derek, Thank you for posting. You’re the only guy that did.
- on February 13, 2012 at 23:01 | Reply derekd
  
  My pleasure, Ella. Enjoy your vacation.