At the request of my lovely CP Author Lauren Smith, I’m asking all of you to give me your best comebacks; whether from a movie, TV, book or your WIP. Here is mine from The Seduction of Lady Caro. My hero Lord Huntley talking to Lady Darling, a former mistress.
Opening her eyes wide, she purred, “But, don’t you remember how good it was?”
“I remember how expensive it was. You’ll have to find someone else to fill your jewel box and plough your field.” He dropped hand, stepped back and bowed. “If you’ll excuse me, my lady?”
ellaquinnauthor
Ella Quinn ~ Author 
Hooray!! You posted about comebacks, just like I wanted you too!!!
I think that is absolutely one of my favorite lines of Lady Caro, of course, there’s a lot of competition in the book because both Caro and Huntley have the perfect personalities where comebacks come naturally for them.
Here’s an excerpt where my heroine, Emily, is demanded to be released from the bed chamber of her captor, Godric, the Duke of Essex:
Emily fled to the far corner of the room, heart beating against her ribs like a caged bird. The intimacy of the moment, he and she awake, in the same space, sent her heart skittering. She couldn’t help but devour his bare chest in the muted sunlight. The play of muscles flexed as he moved, like a large, sleek panther. For a second, she imagined the protection he could offer—his body cast before her as a shield, his muscles taut and forearms tense.
And then Emily remembered.
“Let me go at once!”
“I’m not holding you,” he muttered in an irritated growl.
“I meant, let me leave. My chamber is locked.” She stamped her slippered foot and glared, but the force was lost on him because his eyes remained shut. “I demand to be released!”
“I demand peace and quiet in the morning,” Godric said under his breath.
LOL. I don’t think Godric is going to get what he wants.
Oh man, where would I start? The one the came first to mind, I suppose. From the movie Young Frankenstein, when Freudric and his beautiful blonde assistant arrive at the castle doors:
“My, what big knockers!”
“Oooh, why thank you, heir doctor.”
LOL – Not really a comeback, but it always makes me laugh.
Thanks Sheri. It is funny.
Great idea for a post. Here’s one of mine from Only Scandal Will Do. Lady Katarina is about to fence with one of the villains. One villian is reluctantly giving her his sword so she can fight.
“Here, now. Don’t be gettin’ it dirty.”
“Then pray your partner isn’t a heavy bleeder.”
Jenna, that’s great.
Great ones! My mind is kind of blank…late night at old Target last night.
I don’t know if the qualifies, but this is from my untitled ms between Austin and Jamie.
He shrugged. “I don’t know. My best guess is someone is trying to scare you off of this investigation.”
She squared her chin. “It’s not working. I’m not running.”
His gray eyes narrowed. “Maybe you should.”
Their gazes clashed. “No.”
“You could get killed.” Something—grief?—filled his voice.
“Yes, and I could get killed in an arena, or driving, or sleeping. I’m not letting this guy scare me away. I took a job, and I’m going to see it through.”
“Even if it kills you?”
“Even if it kills me,” she declared.
Good, D’Ann. Thank you.
Very entertaining, Miriam. This is from my book A Run For Love:
“I am not crazy, and what about Rachel?” Tori said, getting out of the other side of the bed and dragging the sheet with her.
“What has Rachel got to do with this?”
“Exactly!” She raised her finger in the air. “You were so full of lust, you forgot why we’re even here.”
He stopped putting on his shoe and stared at her. “Full of lust? Did you just say full of lust?”
“Yes. Full of lust. A poor, helpless young girl is out there.” She threw one arm toward the window, her other hand clutching the sheet. “All you can think about is this.” She motioned toward the bed.
“Mr. Cochran, breakfast is ready if you and your wife would like to eat before you leave.” Catherine’s voice came from the other side of the door.
“Isn’t this just wonderful?” Tori whispered furiously as she bent to scoop the nightgown from the floor. “I’ll bet they heard your lust right through this door last night. In fact, I’ll bet you woke the animals in the barn.”
Jesse tightened his belt buckle, then pointed his finger at her. “You should be locked up for your own safety.”
LOL. Wonderful.
Those are great! I love a witty comeback. Here is mine from my very naughty Tug.
I tossed the memory stick back toward him. “You can take your flash drive and your assignment and shove it up your ass.”
He stood and tossed two twenties on the table then cupped my chin and kissed my cheek. The heat from his breath sent tingles down my spine, and my nipples strained against the lace of my bra. He whispered in my ear, “Get me those files, and you can shove anything you like up my ass.”
I’m running out of words. I loved it.
Gee I have nothing to top that last one. I do love the movie Lord of the Rings and I used to be able to quote dialogue from it all the time. I think the one I like is where Smeagol caught some rabbits and tried to get Frodo to eat them raw. Sam takes them and makes a stew with them.
Sam is stirring the stew and Smeagol looks at him and groans,
“You ruins it.”
Sam says he needed some potatoes.
Smeagol asks, “What’s potatoes Precious?”
Sam says, “Po-TAY toes you cook ’em, boil ’em, put in a stew, slice ’em make chips out of them.”
Smeagol gets right up in Sam’s face and says, “Give it to us raw and wriggling! You keep nasty old chips.”
By the time he says chips he is face to face with Sam. I wish I could remember more of the scene I’ve forgotten a lot of it. But the ruins it and keep nasty chips line stick with me. I say it when someone tries to get me to eat a food I don’t like lol.
That’s good. Thanks for coming by, Kathy.
Love that come back – yours Ella. been out in the hot sun weeding – no ideas of any kind are coming to mind at the moment – but it was a fun read.
Thank you and thanks for stopping by, Daryl. Maybe next week.
What fun, Ella!
The following is from my novel A Kiss in the Wind, Carina Press, March 2012.
“I harbor much more than bitterness, sweet lady.” He closed the gap between them. “Would you care to find out just what I harbor? Or where?”
His crude remark did not appall her like she imagined he intended. Living among a ship full of scum counting down the days until they would make the next port so that they could prig a cheap blouse, she had heard it all.
“I’m uninterested in the docking habits of a draughty dinghy.”
His deep laugh lengthened the cut of his dimples. “’Tis a shame, I’d say. Wherever I drop anchor, my man-o’-war is usually well received in berth.”
Jenn, That’s wonderful. Thank you.
I love that line from your book, Ella.
Can’t remember if I’ve shared this one from my NOTORIOUS MATCH:
Diana–“So you expect me to believe Olivia left England to work as a chamber maid in a French brothel. I must say your knowledge of the business is astonishing. Why were her charms not in, er, demand, I wonder?”
Griffin–“Because men don’t go to a Paris brothels to whore with English girls.”
LOL. Priceless.
Nice idea, Ella and very awesome excerpt you gave as well! I loved reading all you ladies excerpts! 🙂
Melissa, thank you.
I agree with Melissa. Some great excerpts!
Stacy, thanks for coming by.
Such a fun post. The first thing that comes to mind is the Princess Bride.
Wesley: I told you I would always come for you. Why didn’t you wait for me?
Buttercup: Well…you were dead.
That’s always a good one. Thanks Ally.
Oh,no. I expected to at least have someone give me, “Scarlet, I don’t give a damn.”
My mind is blank… but I loved reading all the comments!
Ella, you know that is one of my favorite lines from Lady Caro!
Here is an excerpt from my current WIP – His Charming Seductress (It takes place at the top of a staircase above an entrance hall decorated profusely with stuffed birds.)
“In case you haven’t noticed, Miss Tildenbury, there is a madman down there with a gun. A very large gun. I’m trying to keep you from getting shot.”
“That madman is my uncle.”
“The fact he is a relative of yours is of no surprise to me, I assure you.”
“Uncle P would never shoot me.”
The gun chose that inopportune moment to go off again. Smoke and feathers filled the air above them.
“Tell that to the owl.”
Another of my favorites from His Charming Seductress is uttered by the infamous Uncle P mentioned above.
“I can’t seduce a woman merely by kissing her hand, Mr. Preswell.”
“Then you’re not very good at it, are you, lad?”
They are both outstanding. I love that book, what I’ve read of it at least.
I’m chiming in late so I don’t have a comeback, but I truly enjoyed reading everyone’s! They were great! Thanks for sharing and love the idea, Ella!
Thanks, Jennifer, for stopping by.
I know I’m late chiming in here but I had to add my two cents. Here’s a snappy come-back from the movie Yung Guns II. Billy the Kid’s girlfriend, Jane, is conversing with Pat Garrett, (please forgive me, I just know I’m gonna butcher this, but I’ll repeat it as close as I can)
Jane: “I’ll be honest Pat, you used to make me hotter than a June bride sitting bareback on a depot stove, but I don’t share my bed with the law.”
Pat: “Well I don’t keep with whores no more so ain’t we both content.”
Ouch, I’ve watched it a number of times and I still feel “sizzled” when I hear it. Thanks for the opportunity to share,
Hi Debby,
Thanks for commenting. Great comeback.
Our favorite is from Working Girl with Melanie Griffith when an animal rights activist asks a woman wearing a fur coat if she knew how many animals had to die so she could have that?
The woman replies with, “Do you know how many animals I had to fuck to get this?!”
Classic!
I remember that. Great comeback. Thanks for posting.