We all love pithy insults. So, come by today and post your favorite insult. The excerpt can be from anywhere.
Here’s mine from Lady Caro’s Accidental Marriage. This is Lord Huntley’s response to a former lover who is trying to revive their affair.
Opening her eyes wide, she purred, “But, don’t you remember how good it was?”
“I remember how expensive it was. You’ll have to find someone else to fill your jewel box and plough your field.” He dropped hand, stepped back and bowed. “If you’ll excuse me, my lady?”
My very favorite insult comes from Shakespeare. I have a mug with a lot of his insults and this is my fave: “Veriest varlet that ever chewed with a tooth.” Although “Not so much brain as ear wax” comes in a close second. 🙂
Jenna, wonderful.
Mark Twain regarding fellow author Hart Crane: “He is fit only to be stood on a street corner and used as a convenience for dogs.” On Jane Austen, he said he’d like to dig her up and beat her to death all over with her own shin bone. So polite, those Victorians.
Grace those are wonderful. Thank you for stopping by.
I remember that former lover from your ms–she was a toot. Not pithy, but as good as I can make it. Great post idea!
LOL. Thanks, Angelyn.
Love that! I cant think of one off the top of my head.
I have an entire sheet of insults titled, When Insults Had Class. Winston Churchill has several entries as does Mark Twain. It’s a toss up between:
The exchange between Winston Churchill & Lady Astor:
She said, “If you were my husband I’d give you poison.”
He said, “If you were my wife, I’d drink it.
and,
“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” Mark Twain
Hi Suzanne. I like both of them, but the Churchill one is great because it was said to the person. I think we need to be more erudite with out insults.
Wonderful, Ella
Hi Brenda, thank you.
I loved that line from Lady Caro’s Accidental Marriage, Ella. I always liked these lines from my Christmas novella last year, A Wife by Christmas. This exchange is between history teacher, Ellie Henderson, and her boss, Principal Max Colbert. Keep in mind this is in 1907 when ‘ladies’ didn’t speak this way.
His jaw tightened, his mouth working as if to say something. Then, like a rag doll, he collapsed into his seat and leaned back, eyes closed.
“Miss Henderson, you are a pebble in my shoe.”
“And you, Mr. Colbert, are a horse’s behind.”
I like that one as well, Callie. Thanks for stopping by.
teehee Loved it, Ella! 😀
Thanks, Karen.
Lovely passage from Lady Caro. Here’s one of my favorites from Abraham Lincoln: He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
Ally, love it. Thanks for commenting.
Okay, I know it can be overplayed but I oh so love this movie, Gone With the Wind. And of course it is Rhett Butler’s response to Scarlett’s worried “Where shall I go, what shall I do?”
“Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.”
Oh, and then there is Scent of a woman with Al Pacino’s, “You’re building a rat ship here, a vessel for sea-going snitches…” In fact, I love his entire speech at the end of that movie. As you can guess, I’m definitely a movie lover. Fun post!
Toni, thank you very much.
this is an amusing post. i can’t think of any insults, well maybe one, but i don’t know if it counts.
“if you value your life, be somewhere else.” Dalenn, Babylon 5
Hi Grinelda, thanks for commenting.
yw
Ha, great excerpt. 🙂 And a great post idea, Ella.
Thanks, Melissa.
That is STILL one of my favorite lines you’ve ever written! Here are some insults from my manuscripts. From : The Price of a Gentleman :
“Fortunate for us, unfortunate for the earl. His countess may have the face of an angel, but she has the devil’s own temper. I’d sooner bed a halibut.”
“What she has, Barclay, in addition to the face of angel, is a fifty thousand pound dowry. Considering Cavendish’s finances were almost as bad as mine before he married her, my only regret is that he landed the halibut first.”
From Lost in Love :
. “I was not ‘chattering like a magpie,’ as you so politely put it. I was merely attempting to be a pleasant companion. Frankly, Your Grace, I have sat on stumps that were better company than you. And the reason I had the utter temerity to ask you if we were lost is because we have passed that outcropping of rock six times in the last hour.”
“You counted?” He managed to sound both outraged and incredulous at the same time.
“I had little else to do.. Your conversation, the scintillating series of grunts and nods that it was, simply did not occupy my mind enough to prevent me from noticing that we have been driving around in circles.”
And from Wicked in His Arms (formerly His Charming Seductress)
“In case you haven’t noticed, Miss Tildenbury, there is a madman down there with a gun. A very large gun. I’m trying to keep you from getting shot.”
“That madman is my uncle.”
“The fact he is a relative of yours is of no surprise to me, I assure you.”
“Uncle P would never shoot me.”
The gun chose that inopportune moment to go off again. Smoke and feathers filled the air above them.
“Tell that to the owl.”
She glanced over to where a magnificent stuffed barn owl once soared above the foyer. Nothing remained save a charred spot on the wall and a few feathers.
“Uncle P, not the owl too,” Eve lamented. She closed her eyes and felt Mr. Crosby’s laughter all the way to her toes.
Wonderful!!! I love them.